On Transforming Karma

 The verb, to transform, means:
Turning into  something.

In other word, it is about going through a processus. The famous analogy which illustrates a processus, is the example of a butterfly. Before soaring, flying and entertaining the world with its beautiful wings, that living being is just a caterpillar, a bug crawling around. Most of the time unnoticed, that is why it gets often stamped on. But the caterpillar keeps going, ready to reveal its true identity.

The same principle can be observed in human beings, however our education, our environment tend to make us doubt about the greatness of our lives. 

So  where can we draw that same confidence as the caterpillar?
That belief that we can shine and illuminate people around us? 
Because that is what transforming karma is all about!
Confidence into the action we take, the words we speak, the thoughts which animate our mind!

"Nothing is more eloquent than the actual proof of fact," Nichiren Daishonin would say.

Let me tell you about my own karma.

When I was a child, at home, I was very reserved, and at school, a real chatterbox.
My results were goods, but always followed by: talks too much.
My parents were very surprised. How to explain?
I had a lot of girlfriends. They had boyfriends, I was always single.
I played cool. A real clown. I was boyish. 

I grew up! I met Buddhism! I connected with a woman, older than me, married, with two children.
I saw her, like an eldest sister! But, but, but, she had a huge downfall!
She talks!!!! and never listens!!!

I suffered silently! Who' s bad?  Her , for being careless?
Or me for not being able to stand up for myself ? I went with it! Interestingly, my intimate relationships were not fulfilling either. I was present, but no one was present for me.
Then I became ill. I suffer from a condition called Sarcoidosis, an autoimmune illness.
check out the link below. 

https://www.sarcoidosisuk.org/lady-kondo-sarcoidosis-story/

That was the wake up call! Sarcoidosis being a condition, where our own cells attack the body, It felt right that my life was screaming for helps. 

I did a therapy. It took me two years. I am truly grateful to the person who took care of me.
Their  approach  was perfect for my life. They asked me about my relationship with people in general, and how those interactions made me feel? 

I FELT REJECTED
I FELT ANGRY

When it came to talk about my mother, I got overwhelmed with rage to the point that I found myself paralysed with fear. I remembered how afraid, I was of my mother, she was strict, and as a result, I have never learnt to stand up for myself.
Everything made sense!

I understood that the root cause of my insecurity was fear.
All my relationships have been built on that model, because that was my template for love.
That same insecurity followed me everywhere in my life. 
Not all relationship made me suffer! 
But my buddhist practice point of view, those people had a function in my life, for me to see! I saw, I understood, I work at it and our paths took different turn! Except for my mother! still there! Only joking!

So yes, karma can be transformed!
First let's acknowledge that we are suffering!
THAT IS  VICTORY!
Then it is important to take action
And to TRUST! 
That's all for now!
Thank you for reading!
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